Just As I Thought

And the wine list, please

This is America. McDonald’s is as ubiquitous a part of our landscape as Wal-Mart and Toyota Corollas. And yet, some people seem to have not grasped the process of the drive-through system.
Let me preface this by saying that I do understand the horrific health implications of eating at McDonalds, but, when you are hungry, have no time, and are in the car, well…
But some people manage to turn a trip to the drive-through into a night at Tavern on the Green. Here’s a primer: McDonald’s is not a place where you can customize your eating experience. Do not order a hamburger with 3 pickles, half an onion, a dollop of mustard and horseradish on the side, with pumpernickel bread. The menu at McDonald’s is relatively small, with little room for creativity. Do not ask if McDonald’s serves spaghetti. They do not have Pepsi products, and you should not argue about this fact. It is pointless to ask what kind of fish is in a Filet O’Fish sandwich. Do not ask for baby greens in a delicate vinagrette – the salads are pre-packaged in plastic and consist of iceberg lettuce.
This afternoon at the drive-through, someone held up the line for more than 5 minutes (yes, 5 minutes) asking if they had spaghetti, then if they had pizza, then if they had any Italian food. Once she got to the window, she asked – are you ready for this – for a receipt. Then, she pulled up just far enough that the next person couldn’t make it to the window, and dismantled her entire order to check that everything was present and correct.
The point of the drive-through was obviously lost on her.

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