Just As I Thought

Alan likes ‘em big

From Lloyd Grove’s column in the Post:

We initially refused to believe an alert ABC News fan who told us that the closed captions for the 6:30 p.m. Tuesday feed of Peter Jennings’s “World News Tonight” informed viewers that Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan was “in the hospital for an enlarged prostitute.”

But yesterday a network spokeswoman confirmed the wording — provided by ABC’s Pennsylvania-based closed-captioning contractor. Apparently the typist hit the wrong key, or keys. The glitch was fixed for the 7 p.m. feed.

“We strive for perfection,” ABC’s Cathie Levine told us, “but when you’re typing that fast, there are occasional mistakes. We regret the error.”

Greenspan was home recovering yesterday from prostate surgery, said his wife, NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell. As for that “enlarged prostitute,” Mitchell told us: “He should be so lucky.”

Lloyd also adds a great quote regarding the odious Sen. Santorum:

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to talk about ‘man on dog’ with a United States senator. It’s sort of freaking me out.”

— Associated Press reporter Lara Jakes Jordan during an April 7 interview with Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), who listed “man on child” and “man on dog” among socially undesirable relationships in a discussion of homosexuality

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