Just As I Thought

The stuff nightmares are made of?

Two amusing news stories to think about when you go to bed tonight:

Army commander battered officers with dildo
A Russian army commander has received a two-year suspended sentence after he was found guilty of beating his junior officers with a dildo.

Captain Damir Ilyasov was also stripped of his rank and removed from his post.

However, his officers defended him at his military court hearing saying he only hit them lightly with the black latex baton.

The court heard that Ilyasov had bought the penis-shaped “black latex baton” in a sex shop without specifying whether punishing his men was the only reason for the purchase.

and

Pigs and horses can fly says US
The US says pigs, cats, monkeys and horses can fly on airlines but only in first-class.

New Department of Transportation regulations allow the animals on board as long as they can fit into the luxury cabin of a Boeing 777.

The new guidelines have been introduced so all “service animals” – not just guide dogs for the blind – can be transported with their owners.

The rules come into force this month, but have just been tested on Cuddles, a miniature horse just over 2ft high and weighing 70lb. Cuddles was given a seat in the first-class cabin of an American Airlines jet.

Cuddles was with Dan Shaw, a blind man from Maine, who uses a horse because it lives longer than a dog.

The Boston to Chicago flight record later noted that the passenger in seat 3a “had a bowel movement on the carpet”.

The aircraft’s next flight was delayed for cleaning but waiting passengers weren’t told why, reports The Times.

Sweet dreams!

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