Just As I Thought

My house must be a gold mine

Last night I was at my friend Jon’s downtown — he lives in a building that features a theatre and gallery at street level. The gallery was hosting a show called “House Home“, and included a lounge chair with a gun and several remotes, a doll house filled with flies, a bunch of string, a folded piece of plastic sheeting, and a couple of torn out magazine pages covered with dust.
I’m convinced that “artists” have pulled the wool over our eyes. What is the inherent artistic message in putting a pile of dust on a piece of paper and hiding it in the corner?
Here’s what’s most amazing about this: how much money the artists are asking for their creations:

  • “This is my living room #1” (paper with dust): $650
  • “This is my living room #4” (folded plastic sheeting): $250
  • “This is my living room #6” (taped paper with dust): $850
  • “Missing” (poster-sized enlargement of a missing child ad from junk mail): $1,200
  • “Cockroach Installation” (two plastic cockroaches taped to the wall): $250
  • “Hypothetical Doorway” (shoestrings tied together and hung in a rectangle): $500
  • “Coop” (an old metal dollhouse filled with live flies): $3,200

I may not know art, but I know what I don’t like.
Here’s what I have for offer:

  • “Consumption” (collection of old credit card receipts): $300
  • “Specification” (discarded tags from new shirts and pants): $550
  • “Extinguished” (empty match boxes): $700
  • “Alone” (mis-matched single socks): $2,000
  • “Stubble” (mostly empty shaving cream can): $3,500

Cash or check only, please.

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