The Circle of Life

Posted on September 18, 2005 by Gene

This evening, after a few drinks and the realization that my host and his boyfriend deserved at least an hour alone, I hopped on the Metro and made my way toward home… at least, my old home, Dupont Circle.
As I sat there in the middle of DC’s gay neighborhood, realizing that nothing had changed except my living arrangements, I started to cry. Here I was, sitting in the city I had called home for my entire life, and I had no home here. I couldn’t hail a cab and go to my little townhouse just outside the city; I couldn’t walk three blocks to the rowhouse apartment I once lived in. I have no home here anymore, I don’t even have a car to get around in here.
Under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol, I asked myself why I made the decision to move, and the only answer I could come up with was because I can. Was that reason enough? Was it stupid to close the door on a 38 year life and start fresh somewhere else with only one or two friends within a thousand miles and no family to speak of?
I wish I hadn’t had those drinks. The temptation to stay here and apologize for leaving is too great.