Following the steps

Posted on October 3, 2006 by Gene

There are a series of well-established steps that people in the public eye take when caught doing something reprehensible. For an example, let’s take… oh, Mark Foley (R, Florida).
As you know by now, he was caught sending sexually explicit e-mails to underage Congressional pages.
Step 1: When the news breaks and you realize there is no way to spin it, resign your post.
Step 2: Immediately go into “treatment” for alcohol abuse, hoping that the media will rewrite their stories, assuming that you were drunk at the time. This has the side effect — ironically, due to a culture crafted by liberals — of making people think that it is not your fault, it was the liquor.
Step 3: Add treatment for “other behavioral problems.” Let people think that you are battling demons and you have no control over your own life; that you are not to blame for anything.
Step 4: When that doesn’t excuse you, release the blockbuster news that you had been molested as a child — by a clergyman, no less. Again, this reinforces the idea that you are not to blame.
Step 5: Still not getting traction for your story? Now it is time for you to come out of the closet. By doing this, you can fall on your sword for your evil right-wing masters, who will show that gay men are pedophile predators and Foley was never really a good Republican to begin with, thus distancing the party from this scandal.
Any bets as to what Step 6 will entail? Will it be an admission that he is under the care of Scientology, and that he will soon be cured of his homosexuality and other “deviances” by non-stop auditing in Clearwater, Florida?