Just As I Thought

Straight Bashing

Couldn’t resist two more entries from this week’s Top Ten Conservative Idiots list:

The Family Research Council
So last week we noted James Dobson’s beef with SpongeBob SquarePants, and this week Margaret Spelling has joined the crusade against cartoon characters with loose morals. But Spelling and Dobson aren’t the only ones kicking up a stink – they’ve been joined by perennial conservative idiots the Family Research Council. And a tidbit in New Zealand’s National Business Review last week revealed just how far the FRC are willing to go to root out the gay agenda wherever it may be hiding. According to the Review, the FRC employs a “homosexuality detection expert.” That’s right – a homosexuality detection expert. And apparently this homosexuality detection expert told the New York Times that words such as “tolerance” and “diversity” are part of a “coded language that is regularly used by the homosexual community.” Wow. It appears that the FRC’s homosexuality detection expert is set to ultra-high sensitivity. Just out of interest, how does one get a job as a homosexuality detection expert? I mean, obviously you’re going to need two years experience and a degree from homosexuality detection college, but it’s not the kind of thing you see advertised every week in the jobs section.

UCO College
Here’s one more from the “Dumbass Gestures of the Silent Majority” files… the College Republicans of the University of Central Oklahoma have announced that they intend to hold “Straight Pride Week” on campus, which should be reassuring to all those poor, oppressed straight folks out there in Central Oklahoma who are feeling threatened by the heartland’s rising tide of gayness. “The general gist is that if you are a straight student on campus be proud, be loud, this is your time to shine,” said college Republican Kyle Houts. Uh, right. I think straight students probably do that every day of the week at UCO, don’t they? Or are they all hiding in their dorms, fearful of getting the shit kicked out of them by roving bands of hard-partying drunk-assed homosexuals?

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