Just As I Thought

As Seen on TV

Those of you with satellite television will agree: those obnoxious long-form commercials that repeat ad nauseum are really getting annoying.
There are four in hot rotation: First, an obnoxious presentation explaining why you shouldn’t order the miracle weight loss supplement Leptoprin if you only have a few vanity pounds to lose — Leptroprin is far too powerful for you. And that’s why it costs so much.
Next, the music-video like stylings of the Bowflex, packing a lot of hard flesh into a 90 second extravaganza.
Third, a pitch from “fitness celebrity” John Basedow, who I can only imagine actually spends his entire day posed in a bizarre swaybacked fashion to highlight his abs. His website plasters “As Seen On TV” badges everywhere, giving the imprimatur of… what?
It’s clear that the advertisers know exactly who’s watching satellite TV: fat people sitting around on the couch who are too unmotivated to change the channel when these ads come on… but who clearly are just one pill or fitness tape away from changing their life.
And when they do, they’ll need commercial number 4, which comes to you from a credit counseling service.
Wow, do they know their audiences, or what?

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