Might I recommend Botox™?

Posted on February 27, 2005 by Gene

Note to all you celebs:
Since the Oscars are simply a festival of fashion and “looking good” — at least, that’s what the host says — may I suggest that you pay a little more attention to your makeup?
This is the era of high definition television, and that leathery, wrinkled skin is brought right into the living room like looking through a window.

Love, Gene

p.s. I’m not naming any names, Mrs. Beatty. However, if you and the others are embracing honesty and decided to look like the actual, real people that you are, I retract my complaint and applaud this new trend. Who knew? Stars look like everyone else!
p.p.s. Is it a violation of my beliefs, both in the arena of politics and inanity, to say that Billy Bush — despite his shallow and annoying personality — is really cute? Ah, them Bush boys — what a dichotomy.
p.p.p.s. I’m with Chris Rock on one thing: who cares who designed the celebrity’s outfit? I understand it’s all payola, but how many of us could afford to go out and buy that suit/dress?
p.p.p.p.s. I know I wasn’t going to watch the Oscars, but I’m a whore for set design and had to see what they did this year. My god, I am such a slut for a stage set that’s composed almost entirely of plasma monitors with a big old projection screen under the floor. Damn. Plus, I’m wondering about the software setup they’re using to display the images on the great big series of plasma screens up in the rigging. I want one. Badly.
p.p.p.p.p.s. This new thing where they line up the nominees on stage (for the “less important” awards, at least) is offputting and makes it seem like a high school awards ceremony. At the very least, it’s a bit humiliating for the people standing there. What is this, Miss America?