Just As I Thought

If you don’t have sex, the terrorists have won

Deeply skewed – and hilarious – columnist Mark Morford takes on the battle to overturn Texas’ ridiculous, discriminatory, and downright stupid sodomy law.

As recently as 1986, the Supremes, to much derision and general scorn, upheld an older, 1976 ban on homosexual and heterosexual sodomy in Georgia, a precedent which Texas then followed, though Texas took the additional step of criminalizing only consensual anal or oral sex with your same-sex lover, but not with your hetero partner. Or with an animal. It’s true. Sheep: legal. Gay lover: illegal. Now you know why they call it cattle country.

Lest we begin to think we are the land of the free and home of the libidinously brave. Lest we begin to think our sexually bewildered nation doesn’t still harbor elements of snarling puritanical fundamentalist thinking, not really all that different in tone and pitch and implied hatred than, oh, say, Iraq. Or Saudi Arabia. Or the Taliban. You don’t think so? Look again.

After all, there is a fine line between a Taliban “freedom fighter” beating a woman for displaying an ankle in public and a macho frat guy in Arkansas who would crush the skull of a gay man who accidentally flirted with him in a bar.

The good news is, the few states that do still have sodomy laws on the books rarely, if ever, enforce them. Despite Ashcroft’s famous bilious homophobia and ShrubCo’s anti-choicism and the general terrified puling of God-fearing outlets like the fun-lovin’ Family Resource Council, such blatantly discriminatory laws are slowly vanishing, becoming less and less relevant. No one in recent memory, for example, has received the maximum 20-year prison sentence for committing gay fellatio in Oklahoma. Otherwise, they’d have no football teams.

[Thanks, Jann]

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