Just As I Thought

From the CBN Forecast Center

Expect numerous storms, tornadoes, and floods this year because God is unhappy with the Middle East “Roadmap”, says the Christian Broadcasting Network.

On April 30, 2003, America was positioned as the catalyst to jump-start the so-called “solution” to the Middle East crisis. As U.S.-backed Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas was sworn in, the “Road Map” peace plan was set in motion.

The very next day began the worst month of tornadoes in American history, more than 500 in a single month. Normally, 1,000 tornadoes hit the United States each year, but this year, in just eight days in May, 375 twisters ripped across the heartland of America.

May 9th, 2003, President Bush addressed students at the University of South Carolina. Bush called on the Palestinians to embrace the road to peace, and see the flag of Palestine raised over a free nation.

Hours later, tornadoes returned and Oklahoma City again became the bulls-eye for deadly twisters, reducing what was left of businesses and homes to splinters and bricks. The tornadoes of May devastated the Midwest with the third worst property damage in American history. Since then, the Road Map has endured a rocky road to June, coinciding with what may be America’s most rain-drenched spring in history.

With yesterday’s Supreme Court decision, I can only imagine that we’ll shortly have volcanoes sprouting in the middle of the beltway, F5 tornadoes on the Mall, and plagues of locusts in Justice Kennedy’s backyard. The Earth will split and Satan’s minions (also known as “liberals”) will pour forth…

At least the righteous will be able to survive this cataclysm by snacking on his special age-defying protein pancakes.

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