Now I remember why I stayed away from the internet personals.
About two weeks ago, I recycled my years-old personals ad on Match.com. I spiffed it up a little, put a couple new pics of me (a dour-looking shot taken in the mirror, but hey – I look good after having lost almost 20 pounds).
Well, in the last two weeks, my profile has been viewed a whopping 620 times… and I’ve gotten 7 responses. 5 of those were “winks” where someone doesn’t actually bother to respond to the ad, but just puts the ball into your court. (Of those winks, one was a 25 year old in India. Cute, yes. But there’s more than just an age hurdle to overcome, isn’t there?)
Two of the guys e-mailed me, then never responded when I e-mailed back.
So, in the end, that’s a 0% success rate, isn’t it? It just rubs it in even more that I am not someone who fits in. Anywhere or with anyone.
There are some decent and nice people who read this blog, and every so often when I post a “personal” entry you seem pretty supportive, so here goes: tell me what I should do here. Leave the ad up? Rewrite it? Or just give up on the Internet personals thing altogether?
Mr. Cowan,
Like every other thinking, caring woman on the planet, I’m getting ready to post a cliched statement here:
“I wish you were straight, dang it!” Of course this is said with humor and not meant in a snide or mean way at all. It’s just that you obviously are:
A thinker (like me)
A liberal (like me)
A graphic artist (like me)
You like to poke holes in the current administration’s ineptness (like me)
And last but not least,
you love Apple and not PCs (like me)
..Of course, I own a PC right now due to some heavy-handed financial hostage-taking by my now ex-husband, who stated a couple of years ago:
“Listen. Your apple crashed. I’ll buy you a new computer but it has to be a pc or I won’t give you a dime.”
Being poor and stupidly dependent upon him at the time, I went for it. Now I’m in PC hell and am saving up to get another Mac. Doncha love it?
Sorry about the rant, but at any rate, the two guys who emailed you and then shined you on don’t have a brain in their heads. I say take a less dour picture and re-post it. You have a lot to offer.
Kat
Hmm… I do have a goatee, but I guess it’s not obvious. Maybe Kyan on Queer Eye could recommend some product that would fill it in, like eyebrow pencil. ::grin::
I think what I really need is a full-time stylist who can tell me what clothes to wear every day, fix my hair, and take care of product placement. A Fab 5 who follows me everywhere…
Good Morning,
I am glad that you didn’t take offense to my makeover advice. I admire your pensive thought and verbal skills and was worried you would open it up on me, if taken the wrong way.
BTW, the “Fab Five” that are taking the US by storm, should be contained. They are spreading the wrong message about homosexuals. I had high hopes for America when I first read about QEFTSG on this blog a while back, but now, there is just another stereotypical, OUTrageous television prgram that assumes all gay men are flaming, wine-conscious, interior decorators that are abhorred by the fact that straight men rarely have less than 2 hair care products and no furniture designed by Christopher Lowell.
Have a great day,
P
Oh! And one more thing…there is a product out there for you without drawing all over your face with a product that, in a rainstorm, won’t leave your entire being a mess. Beard and mustache colorant. She out a shade that is closer to your hair color…AND DON’T FORGET THE EYEBROWS! Every stylist or box of colorant will warn you about not putting dye on eyebrows, but if you are very careful and do NOT get it in your eyes, you can use it. You would be AMAZED how much people will notice you when you have darker eyebrows. It sounds silly, but they make your eyes seem more strong and confident, thus the reason 99% of television news anchors and personalities have dark or graying hair. PHEW. Give it a try.
Again,
P
Gene, I can relate. Several months ago I posted an ad on Planetout, got several “interested” inquiries. So, what do I do, I get hopeful and then reply and attach a pic. Of the dozen or so that were initially “wanting to know more” about me, none of them seemed really interested in learning or for that matter sharing more than a few emails before providing me with their out. You could try to rewrite it…but, isn’t that like messing with the icing on a cake after you have finished it? (I do not bake…but thought that the analogy was appropriate
For the record, I met my last bf on Planetout personals, we were together for 3 years.
BTW, read your PO ad, found myself LOL…really. Not at you, just that you have a way of expressing yourself in writing. Then that dour pic of yours… smile!
J
Gene,
I know the solution to your problem! You are obviously a “hottie in disguise.” What you need is a bit of a makeover, and VIOLA you become a magnet. My advice: grow a goatee, get a messy-cut hairstyle (maybe a highlight or two), get a tan, and ditch the glasses for contacts. I know that this all might sound kinda shallow, but that is what the world is now. You obviously have great intelligence, wit, and a plethora of personality perks, but you also have a mustache and that only works for a guy on the market when it is combined with a bit of five o’clock shadow(but NEVER a bushy mustache!). I am not trying to persuade you to sell out if that is not who you are, but that is what most of the world is made of: sell-outs.
Good luck!
P