Congratulations on your purchase of Gene Cowan. Please take a moment to read the documentation carefully to ensure satisfaction.
You should be aware of the following limitations:
- Gene cannot cook fried eggs properly. This is a known bug.
- While Gene is a good driver himself, being on a road with other drivers tends to result in profanity.
- Gene’s vacuum cleaner does work, although that may not be obvious from the state of the carpets.
- Gene does possess the ability to sort and file documents, statements, and other types of paper. He simply chooses not to.
- On the forehead, a small bunch of hair at the part may stand up or grow in the opposite direction than anticipated. This is a feature, not a bug.
- Gene’s penchant for sorting and eating candies by color should not be taken as evidence of obsessive compulsive disorder.
- While Gene may currently appear to be about 10 years younger than his actual age, please be aware that the time may come when his looks catch up, all at once.
- The dirty clothes on Gene’s bedroom floor are not a bug. This is due to gravity.