I saw this linked from Fark and just had to disseminate it further. It seems the the U.S. Department of Education, which distributes funding for the closed-captioning of television programming, has adopted new rules for what may be captioned with those funds. The problem is, the rules seem to be secret — and bizarre.
The government is refusing to caption Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie, apparently fearing that the deaf would fall prey to witchcraft if they viewed the classic sitcoms.
Your government also believes that Law & Order is too intense for the hard-of-hearing. So is Power Rangers. You can rest easy knowing that your federal tax dollars aren’t being spent to promote Sanford and Son, Judge Wapner’s Animal Court and The Loretta Young Show within the deaf community. Kids with hearing problems can forget about watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, classic cartoons or Nickelodeon features. Even Roy Rogers and Robin Hood are out.
… The National Association of the Deaf says the government used to caption these shows but abruptly changed course, deciding that the shows don’t fit the required definition of “educational, news or informational” programming.
“They’ve suddenly narrowed down the definition of those three kinds of programming without public input,” says Kelby Brick, director of the NAD’s law and advocacy center. “Basically, the department wants to limit captioning to puritan shows. The department wants to ensure that deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals are not exposed to any non-puritan programming. Never mind that the rest of the country is allowed to be exposed.”
How imperiled the nation might be if The Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle reached into the living rooms of the impressionable hard-of-hearing. Or, for that matter, Scooby-Doo.
… The Department of Education is refusing to reveal the names of the panel members whose opinions determined the caption grants and also won’t disclose the new guidelines. By every appearance, the government has changed its definition of what constitutes a caption-worthy program. But it’s keeping the new rules secret.
“They apparently used a panel of five individuals and then made the censorship decisions based on the individuals’ recommendations,” Mr. Brick says. “We have found the identity of one of the panelists. This individual tells us that he never knew he was on such a panel and that his views would be used for censorship. No panel was convened. The five panelists were contacted individually and separately.”
Perhaps if they captioned Scooby Doo, those kids would learn a phrase that they’ll soon be hearing from much of the Bush administration: “I’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
