With Kirk’s wedding less than two weeks away, I decided it was time to do a little shopping — don’t wanna look like a schlub as I stand in Southern Illinois watching the wedding of the century.
So, I meekly went along as my friend Jon gave me a little Queer Eye treatment. It was well out of my depth.
I generally wear whatever is on the Target clearance rack — $9.99 for a nice cotton shirt? Who could resist?
First stop was Nordstrom, a store I’ve never shopped at before. It was intimidating to have a salesperson fetching stuff. It was weird to hear disembodied voices calling out names over the intercom amidst the piano music. It was horrifying to see the price tags.
I tried on pants, and didn’t like any of them. The flat fronts made my front look too wide, the pleats made my hips flare out. I decided to bag the pants, so to speak, and concentrate on shirts. I finally found a shirt that I liked, and bought three — at $40 each. Yup, 4 times what I usually spend per shirt.
Off to Georgetown and the Lucky Dungarees store. I can’t quite understand why one pair of jeans are any better than another pair; why would a $90 pair of jeans fit better than the $30 Levis? Strike me pink, they did fit better. And who can resist jeans that say “Lucky You” inside the zipper?
Next stop, Kiehl’s for cleanser and moisturizer — another $40. I put back the small tube of another kind of cleanser that cost $20. The woman in the lab coat just assumed I was made of money, I guess.
At the end of the day I had three new shirts, one pair of jeans, and two bottles of face stuff. Total damage? $170. If I had shopped at Target and got my usual geeky, unstylish stuff, I’d have spent $70.
But today, wearing my new shirt and jeans, I got a bunch of compliments. Who knew?
