Just As I Thought

San Porko

Wow, I’ve made a lot of difference to this city since I moved here.
First, my presence tipped the scales and made San Jose the 10th largest city in the country.
Now, the scales have been tipped in another way — thanks to my arrival on a couch in San Jose, the city has plummeted from 17th most fit city to 24th.
Sorry about that.
Of course, this is the same survey that last year named Arlington a fat city; it turns out that they meant Arlington, TX, not VA. In any case this survey of fittest cities is a complete piece of hogwash because there is no science whatsoever behind it. The surveyors look at population in conjunction with number of gyms, fast food outlets, and health food stores. Well, I know plenty of fit people who eat McDonald’s hamburgers and don’t go to the gym, much less a health food store.
Still, I’m sure it was all my fault.

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