In only 4 hours, any two adult human beings in California will be allowed to marry. Man and woman… woman and woman… man and man. What does it matter? If a couple loves each other and wants to spend their lives together, that can’t be anything but good.
I mean, what threat is posed by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, who once again will be first to tie the knot in San Francisco? (They were first in 2004, when the city briefly allowed marriages for same-sex couples.) Phyllis and Del have been together since 1952. Their relationship has lasted 56 years, and any straight couple who feels threatened by same-sex marriage should take a lesson from this kind of commitment.
I am a terminally single gay man, only a few years away from “mid-40s”, and I don’t foresee marriage ever coming my way. Sad, but true. But until today, it wasn’t really even a possibility. Now? Rather than being a societal aberration or a marginalized minority because of my in-born sexuality, I am instead a regular, ordinary, run-of-the-mill loner and bachelor for life. It’s ironically reassuring and I couldn’t be more delighted.
In August, I will be the best man at my own ex’s wedding. The fact that two men are getting married will most likely be the least bizarre part of that event. I’ll be struggling with the psychological rollercoaster that this wedding will present, but the world has turned, finally, and I won’t be worried about symbolism or making a civil rights statement. It’ll be just like any other wedding — fraught with stress and worry about food and centerpieces, raw nerves and temper tantrums, family quirks and exhaustion.
And ordinary, extraordinary love. I hope the rest of the nation moves toward that as well.
