RT @dcshorts: Thanks Ketel One…

You know what’s stopping me from getting a pie RIGHT NOW? The promise of a donut tomorrow morning at work. That, and incredible laziness.

RT @LOLGOP: Hey GOP, if you keep calling the 1 percent “job creators” eventually we’re going to expect them to create some jobs.

What I’m thinking while waiting for this traffic light: “I wanna open an ad agency and name it McMahon & Tate. Would I get sued?”