Cue the "super moon cause…

If it’s a given that I’ll always be fat, always be single, and I’m already half dead; then why don’t I just eat the whole box of donuts?

Manhattans aren’t necessarily the tastiest drink ever, but they get the job done. I should have one on my desk everyday.

Hey, shops at Great Mall: Visa, MasterCard & Amex specifically forbid you from requiring identification. Thus, you lost my business today.