RT @aldomontez: @stephenfry Man goes to doctor. Doc says “You’ve got to stop masturbating” Man “Why?” Doc “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

This is what my house looks like this afternoon. I like the happy stripes, it makes me imagine that instead of deadly gas inside, there is actually a few clowns and maybe an elephant.

Did you ever have a moment when you thought to yourself, “am I really that stupid?”Imagine this: the phone rings. You’re sitting on the couch, the phone is on the kitchen table. What should be a simple  [more...]