RT @BorowitzReport: Romney reacts to Secret Service scandal: “When I’m President, no one in the White House will have sex.”

I now know an important fact about my cordless phone: the battery lasts for about 3 hours of constant talk time. Last night I talked for four hours with B — for that is how he shall be known henceforth — and  [more...]

I keep hearing a muffled tone, a computer-y beep. It seems like it’s far away, somewhere on the floor. Then I realize that my cell phone, nestled in the little holster attached to my belt, is pushing against the  [more...]