RT @BorowitzReport: Republican politicians fear that if same-sex marriage is legal their boyfriends will give them ultimatums.

I guess it would have been faster to buy a new $1200 washer than to get this one repaired.

I have 440 calories left for the day. A lean cuisine? Or another drink?

It had to happen someday: the new president of Disneyland is openly gay! Can’t wait until the religious right hears about this.