Neighborhood kids asked for $2 to rake my yard. My conscience made me give them $8. This is why I don’t shop at Wal-Mart.

Okay, it’s about 2pm and what have I accomplished today? Well, I got dressed. That was enough of an accomplishment, I think.

I know I seem creepy for hanging out in #Disneyland restrooms, but they are all AIR CONDITIONED.