“How the Doctor Puppet Saved Christmas” It’s…

can barely move. Feet: pain. Muscles: sore. Disneyland wins, I am old and weak.

Larry Gelbart moved to England in the 60s in part because of the war, but later quipped, “I went to escape religious freedom in America.”

“@BorowitzReport: BREAKING: Scientists have discovered a planet that’s like ours but better, because it has no Republican debates.”