In Oklahoma, faith-based explanations can get you an “A” in science class

Remember when we used to play outside in the dirt, had pets, never washed our hands and ate crickets? (That one is for my brother.) We also didn’t have allergies to everything. Coincidence?

The joke will be on immigrants when they find out if they want to be a person they have to be a corporation. #scotus (via @BorowitzReport)