Let’s focus on me for a change

Posted on February 17, 2005 by Gene

Speaking of disposable income — a hamfisted segue there — I wonder a lot about other people’s finances and their general luck in that arena. I’ve always thought (and often complained) that I don’t get paid enough, but I tend to let inertia keep me in my job and compare myself to people who work in fast food and such; knowing that my salary is enough to keep me fed and housed in a pretty nice way.
That is, until my ex told me that his boyfriend is going to be making a six-figure salary as an assistant manager at JC Penney. Then my aunt told me of someone she knows out in Front Royal, Virginia who also made six figures as a manager at Sears… plus $300 or more in mileage expenses per month.
Then yesterday, when I lost out on a job that would have paid not six figures, but a more respectable five figures than I get now, I called him to complain. He agreed that it was a good thing I didn’t get the job, but it still didn’t help me feel happy about it.
A few hours later, he called me to tell me that he had gotten a call from Amazon.com offering him a programming job. He’s already making twice as much money as I am, and this job would make it three times more.
When we were together, he bounced from job to job, making sporadic money. I was paying our living expenses and all kinds of other costs associated with him; when we broke up it took me 3 or 4 years to pay off the bills. And now he’s constantly telling me of his high-roller status, the people desperate to hire him, the cars, the houses, the trips. I almost feel like I was the ex-wife who supported him until he made it big, and now I’m left behind to ponder.
But what really bugs me is the seemingly insensitive, one-way view he has of our friendship. When I was in an emotional quandary last week, he was pretty uninterested. But when a relative of his boyfriend died, I had to be there to comfort him — a rather inappropriate situation for me.
When he asks me to do him a favor, he expects it to be done immediately, right then and there — and gets pissy if I can’t do it. But he tells me he’ll call me in 2 hours to do something for me, then I don’t hear from him for 24.
When I have bad news of the “I didn’t get the job” sort, his response is to call me back with his own good news, not only making me feel worse but shifting the focus to himself once again.
I’d like the focus to be on me for just a little while. I just want to be a little selfish sometimes. But dammit, people won’t let me.
See? Even this post ended up being about someone else.