Just As I Thought

I’m not normal

I was perusing some personals ads this morning — laying in bed alone tends to make one’s mind wander toward what might have been, you know — and finally came to a realization. A sad, pathetic one.
I knew all my life that I didn’t fit in, that I was stubbornly different from everyone around me, and rarely even got along with them. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it was because I was gay. Yes, that would explain it.
But now, as if to add insult to injury, I’ve concluded that I have little in common with even the vast majority of the gay world, either. I’m just as alienated and different from them as I am from the rest of the population.
That trip to another planet I keep wishing for sounds better and better all the time.

Just as an aside, the personals ads I was looking at asked for “things in your bedroom.” Quite a few guys responded, rather snottily, I thought, ‘Not a TV.’
Well, how cosmopolitan of you, sir. I’ll bet Mater and Pater are quite proud.
As for myself, I not only have a TV, but an HDTV, a DVD-player, and satellite. So there. In concession to asthetics, it is closed up in a craftsman-style armoire, but since nothing else interesting ever happens in my bedroom, I see no need to be a snooty, obnoxious poser who wants to appear more aloof and special than he is, ya know? A lot of people have a TV in their bedroom, it’s sometimes pleasant to fall asleep watching Futurama or a late night movie.
Those guys probably also claim to not have any porn in the house. Yeah, right.


  • Gene:
    Hate to have to do this, but I take exception to your vehemence here. I have no TV in my room because I like to sleep, and I found over time that the more distractions I have up there, the harder time I have getting a good night’s rest.

    I moved my iMac to another room for the same reason. No snobbery involved — I still love gadgets a little too much. I just need a place of sanctuary, and for me the bedroom happens to serve that purpose well.

  • Ah, but do you make a point of impressing upon people the lack of a tv in your bedroom? Do you use it as a kind of “better than you” affectation?

  • It comes up in some conversations, but otherwise: nah. ‘Course, my first girlfriend had no TVs in her _house_, which makes it hard for me to look at myself as a radical. =,

  • I wouldn’t worry about not fitting in with whoever. Most people are just acting anyway. I admire people who know who they are and who behave in a way that is true to themselves. Also, I would like to add that I have a TV in my bedroom and I keep it on for most of the night because it acts like “white noise” to me. I find it easier to sleep with it on most of the time. And anybody who has a problem with that doesn’t have to sleep in MY room.

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