Just As I Thought

Dear Tom Reynolds: Bite Me

Oh, boy.
Someone at the National Republican Congressional Committee is really desperate these days. They sent me a hilarious direct mail fundraiser piece that says, and I quote:

Because you are a valued friend and supporter or President and Laura Bush…

they’ve made a very generous offer to make me “Honorary Chairman of the prestigious House Majority Trust, a distinguished group of advisors to the Republican Leadership!”
Funny, even their direct mail campaigns are filled with spins and half-truths and tactics typical of most spammers.
Here are some of the side-splitting claims in their letter:

In recent months the Democrats have decided to try to make out nation’s capital more polarized and partisan than it has ever been before. They display absolutely no ability to lead. They say that they are the Party that needs to be running this country — but they are unable — or unwilling to articulate a cohesive plan.

I’m still waiting for the bi-partisan, non-polarized Republican leadership to present its cohesive plan for anything other than cementing their power.

I don’t have to tell you that the 2006 elections are going to be bitterly fought. Our opponents will continue to demonize President Bush and his policies and we must be strong enough to not only overwhelm their ultra liberal propaganda, but to ensure that our positive Republican message prevails.

Wait — didn’t they say that the Democrats have no ability to lead, and no plan? Then how did they become such a threat that the election will be bitterly fought?

At a time when the Democrats can’t wait to get into power where they can inflict all sorts of damage — including their contemplation of actually carrying out impeachment procedures against President Bush…

Wow. Did anyone else just have deja vu from 1998, when the Republicans began the impeachment of Clinton… and then upon taking the White House, proceeded to inflict more damage quicker than any other administration in history?

Please don’t let this invitation go unanswered.

Oh, you can bet it won’t. How do you think I should respond to their comedy-filled junk mail?

1 comment

  • I’ve also been honored by the NRCC as the chairman of the House Majority Trust. Oddly, they’ve never asked me to advise them of anything, although the HMJ is “a distinguished group of advisors to the Republican Leadership”.

    Here’s what I told the woman who called me for an RSVP to dine with the Pres. She said that the Dems were making a real threat to the Republicans — “They’re raising nearly as much money as we are”…to which I replied:

    “Oh, that’s not possible. Who will they get the money from? Hollywood? We have the entire Oil Industry and Pharmaceutical Industry on our side, not to mention the companies profiting from the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Mexican Border. I can’t imagine those companies will turn their backs on us, after all we’ve done for them? So I’m not concerned at all. We’ve always had way more money then they have. And with the tax cuts, and the low-wage alien workforce, we’ve got even more now….So, don’t worry…we’ll be fine. And, thanks for the invitation, but I won’t be able to afford the honor…see, I don’t have a job any more.”

    My story.

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