Things on top of other things

Posted on August 2, 2007 by Gene

One of my fears — phobias — is collapse. Falling. This is why I am preoccupied with the bridge collapse; I have some deep-seated fear of falling, of having something disappear from beneath my feet. I have nightmares about it. I think this dates back to the early 1980s when the walkways collapsed at the Kansas City Hyatt, I still remember the special report flickering on the little black and white TV in my bedroom.
A wedding hall in Israel collapsing and the terrifying footage of a crowd of people simply falling out of sight; the World Trade Center, the Cypress Structure… I am scared to drive over or under bridges and I am freaked out here in my office daily because the floor shakes and bounces when people walk by.
Sleeping on the second floor of my townhouse back in Arlington I used to lay in bed imagining what my first reaction would be if the house collapsed and I fell down to the first floor with the roof on top of me. I feel somewhat more secure in my little single-story bungalow with solid ground under me; still, I arranged the furniture in my bedroom so that if an earthquake should happen the heavy objects wouldn’t fall down on top of me while I sleep.
Maybe it’s not really a phobia per se, perhaps I’m just being overly dramatic. Or perhaps I should construct some kind of steel cage around my bedroom and then never leave it again.
Hmm.