Just As I Thought

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Last year I posted a short little idea of what I would do if I won the lottery. I obviously was too altruistic with my virtual money. Today the Style Invitational publishes results of their contest asking entrants to come up with ways to spend a million dollars that would not benefit anyone:

Second Runner-Up: Give every single American taxpayer a half-cent refund! (G.W. Bush, Washington) (Joe Cackler, Falls Church)

First Runner-Up: Hire O.J. to find the real weapons of mass destruction. (Charles Star, New York)

And the winner of the especially badly rendered JFK commemorative plate: Purchase 14.28 seconds’ worth of commercial time during the Super Bowl and read a list of the 10 people to whom you would have given $100,000 each, had you not blown the money on the commercial. (Mark Briscoe, Arlington)

Extend the Orange Line toward Dulles 13 more feet. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Give it to Mrs. Sese Seko, to tide her over until she can get all her money out of that Swiss bank. (Tom Kreitzberg, Silver Spring)

Sink it into R&D for a penis-reducing cream. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

For its immense symbolic value, transport one of those Saddam statues from Iraq to the inside of a maximum- security cell at Marion Federal Penitentiary. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

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