Found making the rounds of the Internet, provenance unknown:
12 Reasons why homosexual marriage shouldn’t be legal
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
Also found out there, a couple of on-target comments posted to various blogs:
Why does same-sex marriage threaten the sanctity of marriage so greatly, when convicted murders, pedophiles, rapists, spouse abusers, drug addicts, etc. have the right to marry freely (even serially if they choose)?
Even a “card carrying” Satanist who breaks every tenet held by mainstream Christianity can walk into the County Clerk’s office and get a marriage license.
Protesting being tarred with the same brush as the bigots by being called Christian (being a Christian sweetie yourself) you say, “How would you feel if we pointed to some gay murderer and then implied that all gays were murderers?” Honey, it happens all the time. Whenever there’s a killer who’s gay what do you hear? “Gay serial killer.” How often do you hear “Christian serial killer”? What, you think there aren’t any?
