Just As I Thought

Measuring up

Today’s Style Invitational asked participants to come up with new units of measurement:

The serling-rod: The distance between light and shadow, between science and superstition, between a man’s fears and his knowledge — which turns out to be 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone. (Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

The slug: A measure of the disgustingness of something stepped on in bare feet. 4 slugs = 1 used Trojan. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

The dubyabushel: The amount of fertilizer needed to manufacture one weapon of mass destruction. (Judy and Donna Sherman, Burtonsville)

The doh: A measure of the career-endingness of an action, such as sticking a doughnut into a nuclear reactor. 1 kilodoh = 1 stewart. (Niels Hoven, Berkeley, Calif.)

The millow: Standard hotel bedding unit, equal to one-thousandth of an actual pillow. Motel 6 = 10 millows; the Four Seasons = 2,400 millows. (Brendan Beary)

The deci-gore: The 1-to-10 scale of Democratic electability. 10.0001 DGs are needed to win an election. (Russell Beland)

The googleplex: A measure of narcissism, calculated by the number of Internet searches on your own name. (Chris Doyle)

The connery: A measure of suave, irresistible masculinity. 1 connery = 10 moores, 20 brosnans, 100 daltons, 1,000 lazenbys and 1 million romms. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

The pia: A measure of unwarranted fame: 1 pia = 3.5 charos = 9.2 torii. (Russell Beland)

The nasa: The amount of metal that can be thrown up into space at one time; not to be confused with the wasa, the amount of metal that can be thrown up into a sink at one time. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

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