Just As I Thought

Show me yours, I’ll show you mine

I love the Top Ten Conservative Idiots list. This is an example of why:

Stop the presses! The sound of conservative heads popping off could be heard nationwide last week after Team Bush decided to make an issue out of… Whoopi Goldberg. That’s right folks – almost 1,000 of our soldiers have died in Iraq, we’ve spent more than $100 billion dollars over there while cutting back funding for veterans and first responders at home, Bush insists that "America is safer" while his administration simultaneously warns that the terrorists could strike at any time… but for God’s sake, IS THERE A MORE IMPORTANT ISSUE FACING THIS COUNTRY RIGHT NOW THAN WHOOPI GOLDBERG AND HER EVIL HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS? Surely not! Goldberg appeared at a fundraiser for John Kerry last week, and – as a comedienne who is famous for making off-color jokes – made some off-color jokes about George Bush. We’re not sure what the jokes were, but we suspect they had something to do with Bush’s name and some vulgar expressions for the word "vagina." Yes – you heard right – these comments by Goldberg surely signal the End Times. Ken Mehlman, Bush’s campaign manager, immediately swung into action and wrote a letter to the Kerry campaign demanding that footage of the event be released. The Washington Times editorial page blew the top off the hypocrisy meter by suggesting that "Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards should… explain why vulgar sexual innuendoes and crude insults belong in an official campaign for the presidency of the United States." (Funny, I don’t remember Dick Cheney apologizing to Patrick Leahy.) But there’s more: "The incident reveals some unlovely aspects of the Kerry-Edwards ‘dream’ candidacy, and the American public deserves to know." Ah yes- the American public deserves to know. In response to the spluttering protestations of the GOP, Kerry campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill wrote a letter back to Ken Mehlman saying that the Kerry campaign would release the footage if the Bush campaign released:

  • "Any copies of the President’s military records that would actually prove he fulfilled the terms of his military service";
  • "All correspondence between the Defense Department and the White House regarding the no-bid contracts that have gone to the Vice-President’s former company [Halliburton]";
  • "[The Dick Cheney/Ken Lay/Enron secret energy policy documents] so that the country can learn what lobbyists and special interests wrote the White House energy policy";
  • "all White House correspondence between the pharmaceutical industry and the Administration regarding the Medicare Bill, which gave billions to some of the President’s biggest donors"; and
  • "a selected number of documents regarding the White House’s involvement in laying the legal foundation for the interrogation methods that were used in Iraq."

The letter also noted that "As we are sure you and the attorneys representing the President, Vice-President and other White House officials are aware, today marks one year since Administration sources leaked the identity of a covert CIA agent to Bob Novak in an effort to retaliate against a critic of the Administration." Ah, what can I say but… touché.

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