Just As I Thought

Gene’s driving tips

  • I guarantee that your car came equipped with a turn signal as standard equipment. Use it. Not just when you make a turn onto another street, but also when you intend to change lanes in front of someone who’s only 10 feet behind you.
  • Your car also came equipped with headlights. When it’s raining, foggy, hazy, overcast, or just plain dark out there, turn them on. Even though it’s 3 in the afternoon, I can’t see you coming when it’s rainy and foggy.
  • You know those big fat white lines that are painted across the road at stop signs and traffic lights? That’s where you’re supposed to stop. I’m tired of swerving into oncoming traffic to avoid hitting you because you stopped in the intersection.
  • Turn on your freakin’ headlights.
  • If the speed limit is 25, and I’m doing 35, I’m already breaking the law. I don’t need you tailgating me because you think I’m not breaking it enough.
  • And when I don’t acquiesce to your intimidation, that’s not enough reason for you to cross a double yellow line to illegally pass me, especially on a windy two-lane road. I’m sitting behind you crossing my fingers that you aren’t involved in a head-on collision with the car coming around the bend. Not because I’m concerned for your life, but because an accident in front of me will be inconvenient.
  • Hey, you know those headlights you’ve got? Turn them on, moron.
  • Cleaning the snow off your windshield is not enough. That 6 inches on the roof of your car ends up on the windshield of mine.
  • Red means stop.
  • What is the point of speeding up, racing to pass in front of me, and cutting me off… just to slow down and exit the highway? For crying out loud, just fall in behind me.
  • I’m tired of telling you this. Turn on your f-ing headlights, idiot!


  • Amen!

    And can I add:

    • The red light or stop sign means STOP, even though you are making a right turn. It does not mean barrel into the intersection and cut in front of me when I am going through the green light.

  • Ok. Wait. I think I’ve got it. I should turn my headlights … um … on? Is that right?

    Ha. Ha. I’m kidding. I don’t have a car.

  • I agree with those, and I’d add two:

    * Drivers, show some freaking consideration for the well-being of bikers and pedestrians.

    * Bikers: use the paths! and pedestrians: use the crosswalks!

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