Just As I Thought


You know how Ikea makes a big deal of their flat-packed furniture? They way they put huge 8-foot-high murals up in the store saying that it’s packed flat so you can take it home today?
Yeah, right.
Today I ventured out to Ikea to find a coffee table, since I have not a single table of any kind and really need to stop eating with plates balanced on my knees. (Just a note: Ikea is located on Freeway 101, NOT 280. Gotta remember that next time.)
Anyway, I found a coffee table that I could stomach (Ikea has lost it’s attraction for me, the stuff there looks so… cheap). I dutifully served myself and went to Aisle 20, Bin 14… only to discover that there were none there. Fuming slightly after this disappointment, coming as it did after wandering for nearly an hour through the huge maze of Ikea’s showroom (is it just me, or does it seem as if Ikea is putting us through some kind of research maze?), I began to look around the huge shelves. That’s when I spotted the table I wanted sitting one shelf to the left and one shelf up. There were 5 tables stacked on the second shelf, just out of reach of mere mortals, but a step ladder would do the job.
Om lopp inte, herr. Inte i det hel tät Ikea.
The disconcerting looking “associate” with the eyebrow ring and jewel glued to the side of her nose made it quite clear: the items on the second and higher shelf are not for sale. I was puzzled. Are they just for looks? Like the fake hollow TV sets in the mock living room sets?
I asked to speak to a manager, and after conferring with several people on the phone, she brushed me off to the customer service desk.
Customer Service — with the backdrop of a huge mural with the large red letters saying “take it home today” told me that I could come back tomorrow to get one, since they don’t allow forklifts in the aisles during customer hours. I pointed out that one can’t find Ikea on every street corner like Walmart or Target, and that people drive long distances to shop there… coming back tomorrow is not an option. The damned thing is just 6 feet off the floor, what the hell is the problem?
She went back to look herself, and I think she must have realized the absurdity, because she sent a guy back to get it for me… and he didn’t even need a ladder or forklift.

That’s a lot of effort on my part for a relatively cheap particle board coffee table, isn’t it?

1 comment

  • I thought it was just me.

    I like the idea of Ikea stores but find their stuff to be cheap looking and generally poorly built.
    (we have on right down the road)

    The store here in Seattle is also a maze, no doubt designed to make you walk past everything. And the Seattle store is also packed and I mean PACKED. There isn’t enough room to walk around.

    If I want something from Ikea I’ll shop on-line and have it delivered.

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