Today is going to be a difficult day for me.
It’s the first Thanksgiving that I haven’t been around family; what makes it more difficult is that I am expected to have Thanksgiving with someone else’s family. To make it even more strange, it’s the family of my ex’s partner.
I am uncomfortable sometimes to the point of terror at meeting strangers, it could very well be a phobia. Add to this my discomfort at the bizarre notion of spending Thanksgiving with your ex’s in-laws, add to that the fact that they live more than an hour away and I will have no escape, no way to leave and get home where I can breathe, will be there for a full day…
I didn’t get any sleep last night trying to think of ways to get out of it, but I am so weak-minded here that I can’t envision just saying “no”.
I know that at some point I must face my fears of meeting people, I can’t spend my entire life here in the house alone. But one at a time seems to be a better idea, not an entire family, people who have pre-existing relationships and will immediately tag me as an outsider.
I just wish I was at my Dad’s house right now.
He makes fantastic mashed potatoes. Mixes in sour cream. Yum.
I hope they like the two lemon meringue pies I made.