No Gifts, Please

You know, sometimes you start writing just the best prose ever, and then your browser “unexpectedly quits.” Then you sit there pondering all that typing that you just lost, not knowing if you’ll be able to remember it and write it again, and you decide not to bother. Then an hour or so later, you think to yourself that you just might as well write it again, even though you know it won’t be as good. And in fact, it wasn’t really that interesting or insightful in the first place, it was just an ordinary observation.

Here it is, the day we’ve been waiting for. Today is Apple’s 30th birthday.
Big deal.
Well, it has been a big deal for Mac fans everywhere, especially those with blogs and rumor sites, because they all assumed that Apple would be doing something spectacular today. I knew better.
The Cult of Apple is always looking for some sign from their deity, much like fundamentalists see signs in every event. (Hurricane coming! It’s God’s wrath against homosexuals! Earthquake? It’s because they’ve angered God by wearing white pants after Labor Day!)
So, the big 30th anniversary seems like a perfect day — to these people, at least — for Apple’s release of a God-like device that makes phone calls, plays high def videos, sings children to sleep, and allows one to print the content of their dreams (through a wireless mind to printer interface).
I knew better.
Apple, to my knowledge, has never celebrated an “important” date. In fact, the one anniversary product they did release was the exception that proved the rule: the 20th Anniversary Macintosh was actually released almost a full year after the 20th anniversary.
Still, Mac fans place all their hopes on April 1 and January 24, two dates on which nothing ever happens.
Isn’t this the definition of insanity, this belief that doing the same thing over and over will eventually lead to a different result?
Meanwhile, it’s worth mentioning that most of the Mac blogs and rumor sites that were trumpeting a big event to come today, have themselves ignored the anniversary — perhaps to avoid calling attention to their wishful thinking? Even Apple’s homepage doesn’t mention the anniversary.
I knew better.

Of course, just to make me look like an idiot, Apple could still make a sudden announcement this afternoon. In whch case, please hold the “I Told You So”s.