Just As I Thought

Mediocre America

Maybe I’m just too damned old — or maybe I’ve always been about 45 years old and permanently annoyed — but when I took my VIP pass to Paramount’s Great America out for a spin on Saturday, I felt like it was a big waste of money.
First off, there is nothing more annoying than waiting in a long, ugly, boring queue with a thousand 15 year olds — 15 year olds these days seem to have really foul mouths and no compunctions with slobbering all over each other in public, whether gay or straight (and we saw both). Somehow, they also manage to talk on their cell phones and listen to iPods, all while still talking to their friends in a little group. They combine isolating activities with social ones, and it is really strange to watch.
They are too loud, too obnoxious, and too ill-mannered. Were they always like that?
We were at the park for about 4 hours, and only managed to get on two rides, and it wasn’t even a busy day there. Just really poor park design, and really slow lines.
I talked Jann’s ear off, telling him how Disneyland was still the pinnacle — that they have queues that are attractions in themselves, that you’d never see weeds and gravel everywhere, that people don’t behave so poorly there because there is something in the air that keeps people on their best behavior (usually), that the place is clean and neat; unlike Great America, which is already dirty and it’s only been open for a few weekends so far.
Most amusing (and disgusting) anecdote: the creepy, balding, pierced ear guy in his late 40s or 50s farther back in the queue for The Grizzly, who held a backpack in front of him… to hide the fact that he was constantly fondling himself when he thought no one could see.
We’ll be back there this Friday for Gay Day. I wonder if we’ll see him there then?


    You’re gay, not British.
    Next thing you know you’ll be saying “I was ill and had to be taken to hospital” or “I think I’ll further my education and attend university.”
    …now carry on.

  • (HAHAHA, re: “queue.”) Ah, Great America. Haven’t been there in ages. My favorite ride there when I was a kid was the good old-fashioned Grizzly. Have fun on gay day!

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