I stood at the Lucky deli counter perusing the menu board at lunchtime, alone but for the counter attendants who outnumbered me 2 to 1.
The Zuma Chicken looked good, chicken with lettuce, red onions, tomatoes, and pepper jack on a baguette.
“We don’t have baguettes.”
Okay, I thought, I’ll have it on a sourdough roll. With no tomatoes.
I stood around, and 3 minutes later: “We don’t have any chicken.”
Okay. I’ll have turkey. “What kind?” Whatever’s already open.
She begin laboriously building a sandwich, slicing everything off huge cylinders of cheese and whole turkeys. I wandered away to buy some vodka.
Almost 10 minutes later my sandwich was done.
Despite the initial list of ingredients, it had pickles on it.
I thanked her and wandered away to pay for a sandwich that bore no resemblance whatsoever to what I ordered.
