Just As I Thought

Now Hiring: Husband

Single life, in many respects, sucks.

Single life, in many respects, sucks.

There are plenty of arguments for the drawbacks of being single, especially from a governmental standpoint: because I am one person who has no children or dependents and owns a home in Proposition 13 California, I pay much higher taxes than those who have kids (deductions) and two people to pay the mortgage and property taxes. I’m paying for everyone else’s kids to go to school.

For the most part, I don’t mind paying for that — an educated citizenry is desperately needed around here these days. But why should parents pay less of that burden? Why am I subsidizing their procreation? The world is geared toward pairs, companies and governments encourage couples by prices, and singles like me are getting the raw end of the deal by subsidizing them.

Anyway. As I stumble through my days lately I realize that there are a lot of other reasons being single is a pain in the ass right now.

At the moment, my days and nights are taken up with work — my day job, my freelance work, a film festival, and iPhone app stuff. It’s a lot of work, and still it is difficult to make ends meet, to pay for a tiny house which is now worth far less than I owe; so many everyday chores are shunted to the wayside for lack of time — cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes, maintenance and gardening. I have to take my car in for servicing, but when? I have to drive from one corner of Silicon Valley to the other to pick up packages, but when? Diego needs to go to the vet, but when? If I go on vacation with my friends, they have two people paying for one hotel room, but I’m paying full price for mine. I’m paying for one half of the vacation, they’re paying one quarter each.

The reality is that these things wouldn’t be quite so difficult to deal with with another person around. Two incomes paying for the house, twice the number of manhours available to accomplish daily chores, property taxes effectively cut in half.

I see where I’ve been wrong all along. I should never have been looking for the love of my life. I should have been searching for an assistant.

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