This eye strain from the new glasses makes me want to use a vacuum cleaner hose to suck my eyeballs out.
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Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) on Twitter
The joke will be on immigrants when they find out if they want to be a person they have to be a corporation. #scotus (via @BorowitzReport)
June 25, 2012
July 30, 2010
I got THREE stents, but no spe…
I got THREE stents, but no special report on the radio reporting it.
February 11, 2010
