I knew there would be an explosion of comedy at Dick Cheney’s expense after the news of his heart transplant. So, without further adeiu, here is a quick round up of some circulating on Twitter so that we can all move on with our lives and I don’t have to retweet them all.
rob delaney @robdelaney
I heard a nurse’s hand slipped & touched Cheney’s original heart & she transformed into a spidergoat & ate 2 babies in the maternity ward.
Edward Branley @YatPundit
funny, i haven’t seen a @DavidVitter email today objecting to the single-payer healthcare system that paid for Cheney’s new heart.
So a lifetime of government-paid health care kept Cheney healthy enough to make him eligible for a heart? http://reut.rs/H5JLoI Socialism!
rob delaney @robdelaney
*James Cameron guides robotic arm into vent on sea’s floor. It emerges holding the dark rune which will power Cheney’s new heart*
Matthew Baldwin @matthewbaldwin
It’s nice to know that Cheney finally had a change of heart.
Andy Borowitz @BorowitzReport
I wonder how Fox News would handle it if it turned out Cheney’s new heart was from Kenya.
The One True Dowager @TheDowagerSays
That Mr. Cheney had a questionable heart was something the public diagnosed years before his cardiologist did.
It would be weird if, b-movie style, Cheney got the heart of a serial killer. People would be, dude, you’re so much nicer now!
Sam Seder @SamSeder
I imagine the reason Cheney’s heart donor is anonymous is to prevent the donor’s family to needlessly suffer more.
Mitch Benn @MitchBenn
I’d feel better about Cheney’s heart transplant if I didn’t suspect the old one had now been used in some arcane ritual to make him immortal
matt blaze @mattblaze
Seriously though, what do they do with Cheney’s old heart? I assume if not handled properly, it will absorb all matter in the galaxy.
elliott holt @elliottholt
If this were a movie, Cheney would become a kinder person now that he has a functioning heart. Kind of like the Grinch.
As Cheney dominates news, Gingrich plans heart transplant.
Jeff Jarvis @jeffjarvis
Oh, please, tell me that Cheney’s heart came from a liberal.
Gerry Duggan @GerryDuggan
They’re throwing Cheney’s old heart into a volcano, right?
MARK SIMONE @MarkSimoneNY
Liberals try to set new world record for uncivil discourse/hate speech with Twitter comments on Cheney transplant
Funny, after doing a pretty comprehensive search for “Cheney” and “Heart” I saw a lot of jokes at Cheney’s expense, but hardly hate speech. He should read some of the vile screeds by the right wing to learn what hate speech really consists of. How about just searching for “Obama?” Hypocrite.