It’s time to go through all the clippings and bookmarks that have been cluttering up my dock for 2002, and dump them all here to edify and enlighten my readers. So, here goes!
Past winners from the Style Invitational that I chuckled over:
- The difference between capital punishment and a Wall Street Journal editorial is that capital punishment usually concludes shortly after the victim loses consciousness. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)
- The difference between poetry by Yeats and capital punishment is that poetry by Yeats is rarely experienced in Texas. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)
- The difference between the Redskins’ offensive line and a foofy little poodle is that poodles tend to have prissy little names like Anton or Francois or Jacques, while the Redskins’ offensive line has manly names like Kip, Wilbert and Melvin. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
- The difference between the Pennsylvania Dutch and a Wall Street Journal editorial is that one holds a quaint system of beliefs that fails to take the realities of the modern world into account, whereas the Pennsylvania Dutch make excellent pastries. (Seth Brown, Williamstown, Mass.; Joseph Romm, Washington)
I’m not sure where I got this little clipping, but it is rather amusing:
I am indebted to Mother Jones for the following list of recent corporate name changes: Nuclear Engineering is now U.S. Ecology; Monsanto Specialty Chemicals is now Solutia; ChemLawn/ChemGreen is now Tru Green/Land Care; the Agricultural Insecticide and Fungicide Association is now CropLife America, and Benton Oil and Gas Co. has become Harvest Natural Resources.
Courtesy of BoingBoing:
Fight Piracy — Regulate Potty Chairs!
From Ed Felten’s “Freedom to Tinker” site, regarding the TinkleToonz Musical Potty:
This handy toilet training aid offers a “magical, musical land of potty training,” by playing a tune whenever liquid is deposited in it. Since it plays digital audio, it qualifies for regulation as a “digital media device” under the Hollings CBDTPA. If the CBDTPA passes, any newly manufactured TinkleToonz Musical Potties will have to incorporate government-approved copy protection technology.
A few Bushisms:
- “I’m plowed of the leadership of Chuck Grassley and Greg Ganske and Jim Leach.”
— President Bush, sounding an agricultural theme, perhaps, in Iowa on Monday
- “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can’t get fooled again.”
— Bush at East Literature Magnet School in Nashville yesterday.
A few fun sites
- Librarian.net: avoiding the PATRIOT Act since 2001
- Aerogel: the world’s lightest solid. This is a cool substance that looks like solidifed smoke.
- CD price-fixing lawsuit settlement: everyone who bought CDs between 1995 and 2000 is entitled to participate.
- Agoraphone: this art installation at MIT is interactive – call the telephone number (617-253-6237) and you can speak to people near the sculpture!
- What Muppet Are You? Take this quiz and find out.
- Technical Difficulties: An apology to U.S. friends and allies.
- ???????(Tissue san): Please pet this innocent tissue to be used without any complain every day.
- Mmmm… Fish Ice Cream: savor the tastes of Japan.
- Engrish.com: Merry Christmas! Have you done a nice boy & girl?
- Where’s George? Track your money… just like the one-world government does.
Whew! My dock is now much shorter and I can begin to fill it up with other odd bits – here’s to 2003!
