Just As I Thought

Damn it, the computer says you should love me

Dontcha just love those computerized personality tests? There’s a certain attraction to having some kind of concrete, scientific explanation for the reason you are who you are. But do they ever really jibe with your own idea of yourself?
Here’s what the Match.com Personal Attraction report says about me.

Who You Are

You’re loved, and for good reasons
You’re smart, insightful, and have an insatiable curiosity about life. In fact, you’re always studying problems and finding ways to fix them. You have a talent for rising above the details of life and seeing the big picture. You have a vision for how to live the “good life” so you refuse to settle long-term for a boring job or doing something just because it’s expected of you. You have good friends, but you’re also a pretty independent guy. You’re not someone who “wears his heart on his sleeve” so those close to you don’t always know how you feel. Still, they’re drawn to you by your fun and easygoing style.

What’s dating all about to you?
Falling in love is a spiritual experience for you. A truly loving relationship helps bring meaning to your life. You try hard to make your date feel comfortable and have a good time. You’re good at anticipating what other people need and giving it to them. But inside, you’re usually on an emotional roller coaster. You don’t want to reject nice men, but also take it very personally if you’re the one rejected.

Although your compassion for men is a very attractive quality, your focus on him can get in the way of getting what you want and need. It’s crucial to find a way to “go with the flow” in dating as you already do in other parts of your life.

Quirks men notice
Like all men, you have your strengths as well as your quirks and shortcomings. Ultimately, you want to find someone who will love and accept you “warts and all.” Though you have lots of friends, it’s important to have at least one person who understands.

Some days when you’re in a bad mood and can’t hide it, co-workers or friends take it personally and think you’re upset at them.

You won’t be too bothered by the fact that your partner always has multiple projects and hobbies going on with few ever finished.

At times you can become so focused on ideas, plans for the future, or a new project that you lose track of the day to day details of life (like doing laundry, balancing your checkbook, or even eating).

Do men like your type?
74% of men are generally attracted to your personality type. 18% say they are VERY attracted. With the millions of people on Match.com, that translates into lots of potential matches.

Who You’re Looking For

He’ll be an enigma
You’re looking for a very balanced man. He’ll have clear goals in life and dreams he hopes to pursue while still being practical about the realities of life. He’s a good man to turn to in a crisis. He can stay calm and think clearly even when he’s stressed. He has a reserved and quiet side and can be a little hard to get to know, especially emotionally. But he’s worth the effort! He’s a fun and free spirit, but will still show up on time for every date. Sound too good to be true? Men who are truly balanced like this are rare, but they do exist and would be an excellent fit for you.

Overall, it’s important for you to be with someone who is almost always cheerful and has an optimistic outlook on life. The ideal person you’re seeking shares a number of positive qualities with you, including:

No strong similarities were detected, which suggests that you may be more attracted to certain “opposite qualities.” Please read the next sections to see if you may be seeking someone with different or opposite qualities to balance your own habits and style.

Number of men your type
Men with the exact type of personality you prefer are rare gems. Looking at over 10,000 men who have taken this test, only 5% (or 1 in 20 men) have the exact combination of similarities and contrasts in personality you find extremely appealing.

However, there’s a larger group, 24% (or 1 in 4 men), who have most, but not all, of the qualities and habits you like. These subgroups are charted below.

About two-thirds (67%) of the men have at least some of the traits you find attractive.

But you’d have a negative reaction to 33% (or 1 in 3 men), who have some or many of the characteristics you clearly dislike.

Opposites sometimes attract
You want to share your life with someone who has the same values, goals, and style you have. Research has shown that couples who have more in common tend to stay together longer. Still, sometimes differences can help create a “spark” and excitement about each other. Part of you wants to be more like him, or at least have his unique style in your life. He could be good for you in many ways:

He can act as the “voice of reason” and objectivity when you’re too swayed by emotions.

His happy and optimistic nature will brighten up your mood and outlook on life.

Quirks you can tolerate
The truth is that everyone is potentially “high maintenance.” We all have our quirks and shortcomings. The key to long-term harmony is finding a man who can tolerate (or maybe even enjoy) your “quirks,” or the little personal oddities that make you unique. You seem okay with several common quirks that might come along with your “ideal” man:

When he says something that comes across a little harsh or insensitive, you typically can overlook it because you know he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

You can get frustrated by his lack of input on decisions. Typically you’re left alone to make decisions about what to do, where to go, etc. But most of the time the balance between you helps things go very smoothly.

Downside of your “ideal”
In addition to his quirks, your “ideal” personality type may have other qualities that are more frustrating or challenging to deal with. Under stress, his quirks can become serious “flaws.” But remember, these quirks are the “flip side of the coin,” or the extreme end of qualities you otherwise find appealing. So, be prepared if:

Because he’s such a rational thinker, he may seem cold and heartless at times, especially if the two of you are facing a decision that involves complex emotions or other people.

Because he has a very positive take on life, he’s probably not the best shoulder to cry on. At times his cheerfulness may seem fake or shallow and make it hard to connect with him.

Deal breakers
You seem ready to adapt to the good and frustrating qualities of the men you’re looking for, but there are types of men you clearly do NOT like. Men’s habits and attitudes you’d have a hard time putting up with include:

Your responses suggest that you are pretty accepting and tolerant of shortcomings. No major personality “deal breakers” or reasons to rule out potential dates were identified.

Thank goodness that love is now broken down into scientific formulae – life will become so much easier and richer for us all, right?

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