Just As I Thought

He’s Going Home

False alarm, folks.
I feel really sheepish and sort of ashamed at having created such consternation for people in my life with my decision to move back to DC — because I decided once I got there that I didn’t really want to do it.
Here’s the deal. I was excited about the DC job offer, by an old friend of mine, to serve as a conference manager. It sounded like great fun and was something that I’d dabbled in for years. I’ve been struggling for some time to pay my huge Silicon Valley mortgage and this came at the right time.
But when I got to DC, I was second-guessing my decision within minutes — the frigid weather, the rude people in the airport, and the horrific traffic just brought it all back. I immediately got a headache. (I’ve had chronic headaches for decades, until I moved to California — and had a heart attack — when they disappeared along with my chronic cough.) I felt stressed and sick.
It was shocking, almost as if I’d stepped into a poisonous atmosphere. And after a couple of days struggling with what I was feeling, I had to make the decision to go with happiness over career and financial security.
So, it’s all off — I’m not moving back to DC, and I’m ready, once and for all, to embrace the realization that San Jose is now home.
Yeah, I’ll probably have to put my house on the market now and find somewhere cheaper to live. That will be really tough, because my little house is truly my home, not just a piece of property. Still, I am banking on the idea that I’ll be happier in a cheap apartment in San Jose than I would be in DC.
False alarm? Well, not really. Perhaps I needed to get this close to making the move to realize how much my life in California, such as it is, really means to me.
Back on a plane home tomorrow for a fresh start — literally, because all my belongings are packed in boxes and I have no internet or television in the house…

6 comments

  • Gene, making the move from coast to coast is not an easy one. As you know, I did it a few times. I have missed DC many times since moving back to CA, but for now, CA is home.

    I’m a firm believer in gut feelings…

    Welcome back or “glad you’re still here”!!

  • Huh, what!? My head is spinning. Actually, I don’t blame you one bit. D.C. is toxic. I’d like to get rid of my chronic cough too.

    I’m sorry you might have to leave your cute house though.

  • …and I was SO looking forward to hearing stories about the cross country drive. Really there’s a screenplay in there that you probably missed out on. I’m thinking Sally Field and,well I haven’t quite figured out who’d play you yet.
    Sounds to me like you’re following your heart- can’t go wrong there. The point of a journey, is not to arrive.

  • Gene, always go with your gut, which is what you have done. Great! Next- find a way, however you can, to hang on to your house. Do whatever you have to do. It’s YOURS– your universe– your haven.
    There is a way, so find it. Go HOME and have a glass of wine, reconnect your utilities, and be happy.

    Your nagging friend
    Kat

  • sounds like a good decision, Gene — and “If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done quickly” — congrats and best wishes for health and happiness, wherever you may be!

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