RT @BorowitzReport: CNN reassures viewers: “As Syria descends into civil war, we will bring you the latest breaking Whitney Houston news.” February 14, 2012
RT @TheDailyShow: MT @RickSantorum “Government cannot force you to pay for something that violates faith or beliefs.” // Great advice for tax season! February 13, 2012
@BorowitzReport: Instead of turning them into a game, we should be trying to find the root causes of why the birds are angry. February 13, 2012
RT @BorowitzReport: #Grammys Quotes: “There’s nothing like winning a Grammy to give you lasting credibility.” — 1990 winners Milli Vanilli February 12, 2012
Mustaches have sprouted everywhere at #Disneyland since the policy change. Place looks like a scenario from 70s porn about to happen. February 11, 2012
@BorowitzReport: “Everyone watching the SuperBowl is gay.” — Marketing genius behind David Beckham ad February 5, 2012
@BorowitzReport: BREAKING: NFL Sets Next Year’s Halftime Show Starring Dame Judi Dench February 5, 2012
1962: America leads world in cars & planes 2012: America leads world in imaginary sheep & shitty vampire movies (via @BorowitzReport) February 4, 2012
