Just As I Thought

The Style Invitational January 12

Some of my favorite entries from week CLI, in which entrants were asked to tell us what would happen if an existing company ran a different business:

  • Second Runner-Up: If Apple Computer ran a dating service, only members of the same family would come up as compatible. (Brian Barrett, Bethesda)
  • If Citibank designed computers, whenever you were in a rush there would be only one window open. (Seth Brown, Williamstown, Mass.)
  • If General Dynamics or some other Pentagon contractor ran Starbucks, a grande skim latte would cost, well, about what it costs now. Maybe a little less. (Lee M. Goodwin, Washington)
  • If the Washington Blade made mints, they’d be “bi-curiously strong.” (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
  • If Jim Beam made Viagra, a fella could simply pour himself a stiff one. (Dennis Millner, Manassas)
  • If Suzuki made 401(k) plans, they would be easier to roll over. (Martin Schulman, Herndon)
  • If AOL made Viagra, women would have to deal with even more of those annoying pop-ups. (Pai Rosenthal, Sterling)

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