Just As I Thought

A good day

I’m flabbergasted.
Today my commute to work, which usually takes 45 minutes or so, took only 27.
Every light for the first 14 miles was green. I made it to the traffic circle two blocks from my office in 22 minutes. Then, waiting for the two lights at each block before my office ate up 5 minutes.
I pulled right into a parking space, the elevator was there as soon as I called, and it didn’t stop on any other floors.

Then, I got into my office to find an e-mail from specialguests.com letting me know that Phyllis Schlafly is available for interviews. As the chairman of the Republican National Coalition for Life, she is warning that

… the pro-abortion group Republicans for Choice and the homosexual activist group Log Cabin Republicans have joined forces to introduce a platform plank during the Republican Platform Committee meetings this week that would deeply offend the pro-life and pro-family Republican Party voter base and seriously threaten President Bush’s re-election in November.

She then asks her fellow travelers to imagine the headlines:

“Bush embraces pro-choice, pro-gay change in platform;”
“Republicans distance themselves from anti-abortion platform;”
“Bush moves closer to Democrats on abortion and gay marriage;”
“Bush platform retreats on abortion and homosexual rights;”
“Bush welcomes gays and abortion rights.”

Oh, Phyllis — you’re just making my day even better.

By the way — the e-mail states that Phyllis Schlafly was named one of the 100 most important women of the twentieth century by the Ladies’ Home Journal. And she’s been named one of the most vile and hate-filled women of the twenty-first by “Just As I Thought.”

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