It has been a year now since B and I broke up — or rather, B broke up with me — notwithstanding the occasional “reunion” here and there.
It was nice having a boyfriend, it was definitely very different to be with someone who wrote me love notes, left little presents, and generally was romantic, intelligent, sexy, and took the time to think about me. It was nice to be in love for a little while.
But I don’t feel any need anymore to find someone. I’m not delusional — of course it would be great to have someone. But really, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a loner, a misfit, and what they call a confirmed bachelor.
I like being by myself too much now. I mean, think of the things I couldn’t do if I was with someone: I couldn’t leave dishes piled up in the sink, I couldn’t drink egg nog out of the carton, couldn’t stay in bed until noon and then spend a half hour in the shower, couldn’t spend a couple of hours skipping through TV channels never settling on one thing, couldn’t eat soup out of the can without heating it first…
You know, I could be the main character in a CBS schlubby guy sitcom.
I just don’t want to change my lazy, couch potato life for something that is not lasting. I’m too used to throwing my dirty clothes in a pile on the floor to give it up now.
That’s not to say that I’ve deleted any of B’s emails or thrown out his letters and pictures.
I’m not insane.
Use your time and energy to create a good life for yourself, if you find someone to share it with, well that’s great, and if you don’t find someone to share it with? What you end up with is a good life for yourself…
I think that “sour grapes” is appropriate when one can’t get what one wants. Having “been there, done that”, I don’t really think it applies here.
Sour grapes.
=>PW