Just As I Thought

Portrait of the Artist

Ah, that day when my friends Sara and Lance and I went to the Hirshhorn gallery to see the Laurie Anderson exhibit, and turned around to discover that we were being followed by… Laurie Anderson.

Technoyawn, Electrawoman

So, evidently, someone has hacked Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick. I feel so out of touch after seeing this story, because: What’s so big about Paris Hilton? Isn’t she some stupid heiress who has  [more...]

On the Board

Won’t somebody think of the children?

oh.my.god. Fox television is such a moral cesspool, with programming like “Totally Outrageous Behavior Caught on Tape” and shows that glorify violence and stupidity. So explain to me why they felt that  [more...]

Let’s call it good taste

I’m pleased to report that out of the 200 worst-reviewed films on Metacritic, I have seen zero. Either this is indicative of a surfeit of good taste on my part, or evidence that I don’t see enough movies. On  [more...]

George who?

Boy, talk about a confused electorate — Washington College did a poll for President’s Day to determine the most popular president: George Bush or George Washington. The brainwashed Republicans ignored  [more...]

How many gills in a pennyweight?

More than a year ago, I went on the Atkins diet, because I had topped 200 pounds — and there is no one anywhere who thinks that this is an appropriate weight for someone who’s 5’8″. I ended up  [more...]

C’mon, get happy

I think it’s patently obvious to anyone who reads this blog that I am not what you would call a happy person. I could make an enormous list of reasons why, but in the end would that be a truthful exploration of  [more...]